Sunday, April 26, 2009

new plan: do nothing

I've surrendered ... but just for the moment. I sent the last of my BR - not even a small fortune - to swd805 as a stake in some future event.
In fact, that event just got decided today: I now have a 3% stake in today's $750k gtd. If he FTs it, I'm guaranteed at least $300. Gogogogogogo!

swd805 and I haven't had the most productive of partnerships to now; here's hoping that the third time's the charm!

I had hoped that by giving away my BR I'd be able to keep the software closed. No such luck; I've been freerolling like a nutball.

It's not gotten me anywhere.

I've returned to Tommy Angelo's Elements of Poker; lopping off that C-game, one element at a time.

I haven't gotten very far with the book, mind you. Every time I open it I start from the beginning again. That's not a bad thing: I keep discovering little points I thought I'd remember the first time but didn't.

Like this one:

When you are winning, and you reach a point in the session when the happiness you will gain by winning more money will be much less than the pain you will endure if you lose, quit. Away from the table you can examine how and why this imbalance occurs. Meanwhile, learn to trust the quitting voice, and to react without question.

I should be giving me permission to quit when I want, not Tommy Angelo. But I second-guess myself so much and I punish myself so much and I ignore my own wishes so much (flashback to 1986!) that it has more of an impact when it comes from someone else.


Just like I'm always looking for the fundamental reasons that I suck at poker, I'm always looking for the fundamental reasons I suck at life. It's no coincidence that I believe when I fix one I'll fix the other.

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