Saturday, May 30, 2009

am i entitled to get what i want?

The premise is here.

It was just a few weeks ago that T pointed out that I don't know what I want.

It wasn't the first time someone stated it, just the most recent.

I remember during a chakra massage about 15 years ago that Cheendana told me there was almost no energy at all from ajna, the third eye, which is responsible for 'the ideas, visions and dreams that eventually become physical reality'.

I remember thinking at the time that a sleeping ajna was both the explanation for and the consequence of my time as a Witness.

I would like to explore wanting.

My questions are:

1. What do I want?
2. What will be the 'get'? What are the feelings I seek?
3. Why do I resist committing to want?
4. What do I risk by committing?
5. Will wanting make the getting less important?
6. If I want something bad enough and I do the work to get it, will it be alright if I don't?

Sunday, May 17, 2009

it was the bet, not the ace

I figure he's not going to bet here if he doesn't have it. No stats; decided to play without 'em.

Full Tilt Poker .COM Face the Ace - Round 1 No Limit Hold'em Tournament - t25/t50 Blinds - 9 players - View hand 126152
The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

BigsexyLou (CO): t4460 M = 59.47
11dgaf11 (BTN): t6510 M = 86.80
hitmanoxo (SB): t1195 M = 15.93
pepe87pen (BB): t1990 M = 26.53
Ruggs11 (UTG): t2110 M = 28.13
mnt2bewitched (UTG+1): t4070 M = 54.27
lex859 (UTG+2): t1785 M = 23.80
Hero (MP1): t1375 M = 18.33
mcgilton89 (MP2): t3200 M = 42.67

Pre Flop: (t75) Hero is MP1 with 77 of clubs 77 of hearts
1 fold, mnt2bewitched raises to t100, 1 fold, Hero calls t100, 4 folds, pepe87pen calls t50

Flop: (t325) 99 of hearts 22 of diamonds 55 of diamonds (3 players)
pepe87pen checks, mnt2bewitched bets t250, Hero raises to t500, pepe87pen folds, mnt2bewitched calls t250

Turn: (t1325) AA of clubs (2 players)
mnt2bewitched bets t250, Hero folds

Final Pot: t1325
mnt2bewitched wins t1325