Thursday, August 13, 2009

dreams and nightmares

This morning I woke up angry.

I spent almost an hour playing games on my iPhone before actually getting up, and that gave me time to sort out what was wrong.

I thought about work. Yes, there are some serious challenges right now, but the immediate present is easy enough. Training BlackBerry tech support is significantly easier than I thought it would be.

I thought about my social life, what little there is of it. Nothing painful or stressful there.

And then I remembered it. The dream I'd had before waking up.

For the past several months I've dreamed of characters and events from LOST. I'm not the only one; I've talked to other friends who've experienced the same disturbances in their sleep. I believe we've begun grieving, as we all know there is just one season left with these 'people' and this 'place'. It's remarkable, to say the least, to be this affected by a television show, I can tell you.

Last night's dream had Jack kissing me. The only bad thing about that is that I woke up from it; in fact, I admitted, waking up is likely what pissed me off.

On the other hand, my mood could have been a premonition. For, once I got out of bed, I quickly noticed that my beloved pet of 12 years, Dougie Cat, was not herself. She was quite obviously not hungry and even her eyes looked pained and tired.

I called the vet and got an appointment immediately. Within 90 minutes the blood tests were providing the news: she is severely dehydrated and is experiencing kidney failure. I requested an x-ray and we saw two differently-sized kidneys with a suspicious mass near the enlarged one. It made the decision obvious.

I brought Dougie home and we've spent the night hanging out on my bed. I watched the first two Harry Potter DVDs while she slept and I've given her water when she seemed restless. I've sent an email to my closest friends and family and I've taken naproxen for the headache I got from crying.

The appointment is near the end of the workday tomorrow. I will watch her all night tonight and I will love her forever.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

coming attractions

Damn.

It's been three weeks since my last entry. I thought it had only been two.

It's not that I've had nothing to write about: I experienced the most challenging trainee EVER in my last class at work; I seriously lusted after yet another trainee in that class (it's funny how it always takes the first three weeks for me to even notice those particular guys); poker went really well and then it went a little badly (I still have a bankroll, so that's something).

I even read a really great article over at SoulPancake that I should take to heart. If I did, I'd surely resolve much of the list I posted last time I was here.

I started another blog over at Wordpress. I decided I wanted to review iPhone apps and the biggest benefit of that is that I'm forced to write regularly to make it relevant. I'm not sure anyone's even been there to read any of the entries, but I'm going to give it a real chance to develop.

I spend so much time reading in front of the computer, though, that I usually feel like I'm not using my time wisely. Producing my own material is one way to counter that.

When I'm not writing it's because there's something I'm reluctant to talk about or afraid to face or both.

And so, in the coming days, I resolve to document in more detail some of the events I've hinted at here.

Please keep an eye out!