Monday, May 31, 2010

saving my sanity, one run at a time

I'm still running.

If you follow me on Twitter or you've friended me on Facebook you already know that, of course. You've seen the RunKeeper and LoseIt! updates.

What you can't know is that I'm in another discouraged phase.

According to my scale I haven't lost any weight in two weeks. For a week or so, running wasn't working out well. Even eating has been a challenge.

What's really got me down, however, is my current job and the fact I feel stuck in it. I've been applying to one new position a week but haven't heard a thing. I know that if I persist the right one will come along, but it's hard on the soul to have my hopes dashed over and over.

Finding the motivation to run in the evenings when my days are spent on work that is more depressing than satisfying is tough. I'm always rewarded when I push myself to get out the door in the evening, but that push requires significant faith some days.

I want a new job. I want to be passionate again about my work, I want to feel valued, I want to feel alive. Running does those things, but I can't make money running.

On the other hand, I believe that if it weren't for running, I'd be seriously miserable. Running reminds me there is more to me and to my life than my job.

Running moves me forward even when I'm not doing it.

2 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear you're not enjoying your work :-( It's a terrible thing, and I think so many people are in the same place. Very unfortunate.

    I got pushed out of my last job (they didn't think I was good enough), and that was probably the best thing that ever happened to me in terms of career – it pushed me in to trying to do things independently, and that's just about working out well now. It's certainly a whole hell of a lot more satisfying than working for the man, anyway, and gives me a lot more time with my family :-)

    I hope that you'll either find a way to make your work be something that you enjoy again, or you'll find new employment that you relish.

    All the best, and I'm very happy that the running is something you enjoy. Just a thought – did you ever try running in the morning? It can be quite a good set up for the day.

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  2. Hi, Benjohn!

    Yes, I've run early in the day and I do like it very much but one thing about me that is apparently very odd: exercise always makes me sleepy, so it's best if I do it not long before I go to bed. Even when I do it in the morning I find I have to take a nap afterwards.
    I don't think I'm over-extending myself; I'm not doing anything unusual when I exercise that would cause this, it just seems to be the impact on me.
    Now one thing I realized a couple of days ago is that I've been consuming too much sugar, despite the fact I've been eating really well. I don't eat treats, generally, it's just the particular foods I'd been choosing. So it's very possible that if I get my levels back to recommended values I'll see an impact on my energy levels at all times but especially after exercise.
    I'll certainly be blogging about the results I experience, so watch for them. :)

    Thanks for your comments regarding work. I have experienced the 'one door closes, another opens' phenomenon before, so I know I just have to stay optimistic. The situation will resolve for the best, I'm sure.

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